20 signs you're a bad sleeper

god, stop dreaming about me everyone.

1.You lie awake at all hours of the night thinking of random things.
2. You finally fall asleep only to wake up at all hours of the night, and not be able to fall back asleep
3. A early bed time for you is 1am. (and your still wound up)
4.Your significant other is snoring away and you are cursing them for sleeping so nicely
5.  You grab your phone and scroll through the same things people posted before they went to bed four hours ago..only to have it fall on your face. (ouch)
6. You try and count sheep only to realize that's stupid and doesn't work.
7. You try and clear your head and stop thinking only to start all over, worse than before.
8.  You've tried all those herbal teas and heat packs only to lie awake and either have to pee or be overcome by incense.
9. You try and find like minded people who aren't sleeping to talk to.
10. Netflix...need I say more?
11.Mornings are always awful. 8am always comes too early.
12. People assume your a vampire because you're always awake
13. Your favorite time is the weekend because its not so weird to stay up past 3am
14. You can stay up till 6am and still have tons of energy
15. You are always, always restless
16. You snapchat/text/harass people at odd times at night
17. You get up 20 times a night for a snack, a drink, really anything to entertain you
18. None-sleepers cant take naps or we will never go to bed
19. You get bored, so you wake your significant other up to "talk"
20.  You read this and agreed with everything I said and want to add a few more in

Drinking, The Early Years: An Ode to Alcohol

So we have all been there, you partied a little too hard and you wake up groggy and confused to what actually happened last night and grimace when you look at your phone and see your texts... but lets rewind this story up a bit.... I was destined to be a big drinker. I come from a long, long, line of Irish, Italian, Germans who have major tempers and love their beer. Now I actually didn't end up drinking till I was 18 (apparently that was the age I got rebellious) The first time I drank was senior year with my highschool friends. We all decided to drink for what I think was my friends birthday, being the CLASSY girls we were we got a bottle of raspberry Smirnoff and went wild! I probably had one glass of whatever concoction we made and got drunk. Me and my friend started walking around her neighboorhood bored drunk and I was NOT gonna be able to go home so I slept over. This will be called the age of "I dont know my tolerance so im gonna get fucked up, drink dubra, and STILL not have a hangover. Some of my glorious things I did during this era were:
1.Yelling at some poor lady for staring at me while being plastered after cotillion at the good old flyer diner in milford.
2. Went shot for shot thinking I was a bad ass and took 8 straight shots of Jack Daniels. I  was totally sober one minute than the next so drunk that I started throwing up all over my poor friends yard.
3.Spent every Friday with my friends texting any and everyone we knew of age to buy us liquor and buying dubra thinking it was GREAT!

4.Going to my first bar underage at 19. Shout-out to the good old Redwood for serving me even when the bartender was like your not 21 as shes pouring me the only bar drink I knew of : Cranberry Vodka.
5. Hiding my bottles of vodka in my closet so my mom wouldn't find them.
6. Drinking at walnut beach and being stupid with my friends like every good milford teenager must do.
7. Heading out to new haven to go to alchelmy and get "shitty with my girlssss" and yell at any and every man who ever tried to touch me.
8. Throwing BANGERS at my house.. (We all know how that one backfired on me)
9. Stealing a 50 dollar bottle of tequila from a angry sailor and running away at a party with my friend and getting smashedddd. sorry to the u.s.a navymen!
10. Buying liquor underage at the one place EVERY kid knew they would not get carded in milford.. but still freaking out like I was going to get arrested while doing it.
The early years of drinking are always the most wreckless, you dont have enough sense to be like man this 8 dollar bottle of vodka should not be drank in one night, but also your young and don't get hangovers so why not?! I used to think I was #BLESSED and didn't get hangovers.. fast-forward to 25 and any amount of sugar in my drink has me reeling the next day. Drinking has its ups- and really dumb moments, but it sure makes life interesting! Check back for my next post on this subject! :)

part two: a taboo subject! (relatives cover your eyes!!)

Now here is the most taboo topic that a single girl can talk about, sex. you are either a slut for having it or a prude for not. guys get to talk about sex freely with no judgement, they are considered the man! we women although, are still bunch of whores for even mentioning it. why in 2014 is it still taboo for girls to express their desires and wants? the only place girls can even get information that's "safe" for them to look at is in Cosmo... and believe me no girl is actually taking their advise to lie back counter clockwise and "rock your mans world like never before tonight!!" now I was what they call a "late bloomer" I didnt get my first kiss till I was 18 in walnut beaches parking lot of all places! I was what you call awkward in highschool and I wasn't much of a boy magnet. (besides from all the weird dudes that thought I was nice..)

(my sexy Myspace pose at 17!) i didn't end up losing my virgintity till after highschool either, by that time most of my friends had done the deed and here I was the proverbial good girl who never had a date to even one dance. now I think we all have that vision as girls that our first time is going to be all candles, romance and we are going to be so gorgeous our men will just keel over and die just from the sight of us!! well in reality your in someone's parents house in their childhood twin sized bed and your thinking "he said he just wanted to watch a movie, how'd this happen?! (oh to be young and naive!) now being years removed from that situation I can say firmly that society's vision of losing "it" is warped, all those 80s movies are totally wrong! no butterflies come out, candles aren't lit and unfortantly no one stands outside your window pinning after you with a old school radio.. (although fellas, I'll take a portable MP3 player if you have one!)

(I REALLY liked lyrics & selfies at 17 andddd I look crosseyed, good going Jaclyn)  But everyone has their own sometimes funny story of the first time, of that huge milestone in life. you can literally never forget it, even if you want too! (bc who are we kidding,we are all clumsy and awkward at 18!) now the details I'll keep to myself as they are my private memory but I will give you the HILARIOUS tale of how after I made my 22 year old sister pick me up from his house, buy me french fries and asked the age old question of : "that was it?! that's what all the fuss was about?! " she assured me it would get better. (she was right.) I also happened to leave my jewelry and oh, my work keys at his house so that was interesting explaining to the girl I worked with when he came strolling in to give them back.. awkward, much?! anyways you live and you really do learn a lot from being that awkward teenage love-stuck girl to a 25 year old woman. you learn that it's not always about the guy, you don't always have to be smoldering hot and yes, laughter helps those awkward moments everyone has during sex. anyway thanks for reading about the taboo "shh don't talk about it, we're all good girls here" subject! :) more taboo stuff later! (who dosent love a little scandal?!) 

Part one: Let's talk about love baby, Lets talk about you and me

So here we go, Part One of "Why is Jaclyn Single?" Most people know me as a VERY tough, strong girl. Countless times I've been told , "You are not like a normal girl" I've even had guys who I really cared about tell me they didn't really think of my feelings because well, I seem so strong and put together "You're a really tough girl, Jaclyn" AND I really am..I own that independence and strong-headedness. Its a great quality. It has driven me to do great at my job, and pay all my bills and try to help my mom all I can. I'm constantly the girl who sometimes to others can seem cold, and not girly. I don't know when being strong has become a bad quality. I don't have to shout about rainbows and love to prove my womanliness. Now sometimes my strong-willed nature has been a bad thing. I'm extremely bad at relationships. I have never once really told someone how much I care. That "I can do it all myself" attitude has hindered my ability to just say "Hey, I need you. I want you. I love you. It doesn't help that in my 25 years of existence I have the innate ability to desire people who as much as I would love to think differently, haven't wanted me back. Maybe in the moment they wanted me for my looks, my care-free attitude, my impulsiveness, but never for ME.  Now I cant say I haven't loved anyone ever but I've never felt that REAL love in return. I'm not the kind of girl who wants that prince-charming to sweep me off my feet. I want to be equal and find someone who loves my quirks and my independence as much as I do. I struggle when dating, once I see a guy liking me too much, a switch goes off in my head to "run, run as fast as you can" I cannot handle not doing what I want, when I want. I've literally have had a friends bf tell me "well if you were just needy maybe you'd have a boyfriend" I don't want to change or be "needy" I want to be me and have someone love that I like to go out with my friends, and that I can walk into a bar alone and own it. I know that in every relationship you have to make comprises but I don't want to EVER change me. I'm at the point where I know I need someone, to tell me they love me, take me out and well maybe I'll even be a girl and cuddle. So that being said anyone like a strong-willed, stubborn, blunt, loving girl? <3

My Best (hairy) Friends

I have a case of the mondays...All I wanted to do this morning was cuddle with my cat and dog and never leave my bed. I eventually did get out of bed and leave my two furry friends! If you know anything about me, you know that I LOVE animals! I am the type of girl that will run up to random people to pet their dogs and animals usually flock to me.. (with the exception of birds, but that's another post) I adore my dog bailey, who we rescued and is a lab/hound mix! (and oh does he have TONS of energy!) I also have a cat Naomi, who has a thousand nicknames such as nay, shanaynay, and most commonly I call her NayNay.

 We rescued Bailey from north shore animal league in 2007. My mom had to put our beloved dalmatian down just a year before, and we were heartbroken from that, So initially I was a little hesitant to get a new dog. How could another dog ever take the place of my childhood one? I was vehemently against getting this new dog, but my mom had gone to the rescue place and fell in love with Bailey so she brought him back. He was the tiniest cutest puppy you ever did see. (This is before I had an iphone, so unfortunately I don't have any pics :/) I eventually warmed up to the idea of a new dog, and Bailey really did steal my heart. He is so happy, loving and just a good dog. He is a little crazy, in the way that he likes bananas, will run up and down the stairs for no reason hours on end, and he has this little habit of just randomly humping the air. ( or anything near him :X)

He can light up my whole day when I'm feeling down and puts a smile on my face. Hes so sweet and even good with my niece, he just wants to kiss her! (which babies and toddlers aren't too fond of haha) Everyone who meets bailey falls in love with him and sees what a sweet, if not a little energetic dog he is. He can sometimes be a little mischievous, and whenever he gets the chance he will try to run out and end up "going for a ride" in my car, as that is the only way to get him back home. I wouldn't change having mr. bails for anything!

On to my diva kitty, nay! I have raised my cat naynay since she born and I was 14. My sisters cat had kittens and I inherited her. From the moment she was born she had such a personality. She bossed all the other kittens around, and was always stealing their food. (shes a bit of a fat cat, I tell people shes well-taken care of, not fat!!) She was so stunningly beautiful even though she was just a regular cat, no special breed. She adores me and im basically the only one she will go near. I one time had a boy over who thought he could pet her, and she just looked at him like hell, no! and darted off! haha. She sits with me, and purrs so loud you would think she was taking off. (shes actually right next to me purring now, trying to get my attention as I am writing this haha) I adore her more than I can even put in words or try to understand.

Shes only slightly spoiled in the way that her food bowl is always full and I may give her food anytime she meows at me! The Diva kitty must be kept happy! I don't think I will ever be able to get another cat after my naynay, because she is so unique and special to me. Shes almost like a dog, I swear, she bites and everything!! Even though she is now almost 11 she is still so playful.. just last week I found her swatting one of my bras across my room which I must say was hilarious!

Animals are so special and dear to my heart and I'm so lucky to have these two little loves that always are there for me and cheer me up on my not so good days. They keep me sane, happy, and smiling! They are always there, and always trustworthy to me! <3

The Many Faces Of Jaclyn's Halloween

Happy October! Now that the crisp weather is here its almost time for one of my favorite holidays! I have loved Halloween since I was a little kid! (and not for the candy part, I oddly don't have a sweet tooth) I adore the idea of being anything you've ever wished, if only for a night! I've been a princess, a witch, and most recently a very gory zombie sailor pinup girl! My favorite part of Halloween is making your costume and all the details that are involved in it! This post I'll share with you some of my favorite costumes in the past few years I've made!

So in the first picture I am a officer.. it was 2010 I just turned 21 and the song Mrs.Officer by Lil' Wayne was very popular.. apparently I was going for a sexy officer of the law look with my handcuffs and stockings.(I am certain though that real police don't wear garter belts and have real guns haha) In the next picture I am little miss.ridding hood! My nephew at the time was a baby and his favorite show had little miss ridding hood in it, so I created that costume from a old cape and corset I had! (my little bee niece is probably the best part of the whole thing!!)

 So for me the best part of halloween is creating my actual look! I had decided I wanted to be poison ivy but all the costumes I saw were so cheap and unrealistic looking, so I decided to make it! I went to Joanne Fabrics and made the tutu myself using tulle! I than glued fake leaves and dyed the shirt green! The hardest part of this ensemble was probably my hair! I wanted red hair to complete the look but I couldn't get a wig to fit over my long, long brown hair. So I decided to buy those instant halloween hairspray colors. It worked, but it got EVERYWHERE in my bathroom! So I recommend wearing a shirt you don't care about and going outside to spray your hair! This costume was so fun and I even almost won a contest with it! ( They had us go on stage, and I wasn't sooo into feeling like a cattle call and shaking my ass like the other girls for 250 dollars, no amount of drinks can make me do that, thanks mama for the self-respect!)

NINJA TURTLES!! I kind of have an obsession with ninja turtles! (who didn't love them as a child of the 90s!) My friends and I all decided to be the ninja turtles and the costume was pretty easy, and cheap to make! We bought ninja turtle backpacks. (which I still use all the time just cause haha) and I had shorts previously from aerie! I bought a five dollar shirt from joyce leslie and fabric, again from the beloved Joanne Fabrics! We had body paint and if I do say myself my abs were killer! hahaha

This last costume  is one of my favs! I've been dying to go beyond the typical "slutty white girl" costume. Its still kind of typical but I tried to gore it up a bit! I was a "pin-up" zombie. I loved marking up all my "sailor" accessory's with blood. The best part of this is definitely the fake wounds and falling apart skin! I might have been slightly allergic to the fake wounds because my skin got all itchy and red! pain is beauty. (or gore) haha. So there are a few of my most recent creations! I'm still trying to figure out what direction I am going to go with this year for halloween but I have a few ideas swirling around! If anyone has any ideas let me know! :) <3

my crazy (maybe obsessive) love of long hair

My love of long, long hair goes back to when i was young. I remember being 3 and my mother taking me for a haircut, unfortunately for me it was almost summer and my mother decided to chop it all off into a cute little bob! I was devastated, now any normal three year old would have no problem with cutting their hair but i cried, and stormed into my room!! I was distraught with this
"boy"  haircut!! Ever since than I had kept it incredibly long! That is until 8th grade when i went and got the dreaded "mall hair-cut"  it was short, awful and the kids in school were not afraid to tell me exactly how bad it was! i cried, and cried to my mom!! Here is the offending haircut!

So I entered freshmen year looking like that and feeling not so pretty. I admired every long hair girl from a distance and thought "man if I could only have hair like that life would be perfect!" (and maybe boobs like them too) Well luckily for me by sophomore year my hair grew (the boobs im still waiting for :p) and by the time I was a senior I had that long luscious hair I so desired. Now that my hair was long i wanted to donate it but I agonized about how short it would be and NEVER again wanted that awful haircut! So I waited two more years and donated 10 inches! Recently I have again taken the plunged and donated my hair! This time I donated 14 inches to beautiful lengths, they make wigs for women with cancer, free of charge. This is so special to me because my beloved aunt passed of ovarian cancer. Now as much as I LOVE long hair. (and i REALLY, REALLY love it) I am always so happy and feel blessed that i am able to give my long,thick, italian hair to such a good cause.

So now I'm back in the process of growing out my crazy thick hair and hating every moment of it! I love the donating part, i hate the giving up of my long, hippy hair! I am a long hair girl for life and it pains me to have medium length hair! haha I cant wait till my hair is long again and wish the process of growing hair out was faster!! So there's a little insight on why I'm so obsessive with having long long hair and why I constantly grow it out to make the cut again and again! :)

the start

So I've been wanting to start my own blog up for awhile and I've finally decided to do it! If you ever want to know what's going on in the mind of a single 25 year old pseudo adult than you're totally at the right place. I'm at the weird point in my life where half the people i know are either engaged, going to be engaged or too drunk to even know whats happening and im somewhere in between of inebriated and being a real living grown-up. Now ill let you in on a little less known secret of mine... I totally thought i was going to be on the opposite side of this spectrum.. married, a kid andddddd maybe a house.. so far a have a very fat cat and a crazy dog. So anyways, this blog is going to be about my life, fashion, drinking, my many failed attempts at trying to date, all while being the quirky, stubborn, unconventional girl i am. (and hopefully ill make you laugh in between all those things.)