Monday, December 29, 2014

it's almost the new year!

So 2015 is fast approaching! another year has passed and it seems crazy that life is going SO fast! this year was filled with lots of ups and downs. I am hoping for an even better 2015 than 2014 was! So here's a list of "resolutions" for the new year.
1. Think of all the good in my life when my own demons come out and I feel weary. 
2. Try and smile everyday.. Idc if "resting bitch face" keeps you pretty. I want a life of happiness well seen on my face! 
3. Let go of things I cannot control. breathe and let go. this is much easier said than done. 
4. positively seeks positivity. seems pretty hippy but it's so true! if you surround yourself with good people who really love you good things happen! (plus you just feel better!)
5. STOP thinking SO much! this one I already will have trouble with bc I'm a overthinker and even when I try to hide my thoughts the people who know me best know something's up. lol
6. Go on a trip! I really wanna travel a little even if it's not in a grand way. I'm DYING to see something that inspires me.. ( I need a travel buddy, any takers? lol ) 
7. Get a new tattoo! that's pretty easy. I love new ink soo prob getting my thigh done next! (sorry mom)
8. Don't be quick to judge and give others a chance.. you never know how awesome someone could be!
9. I really wanna learn to play the guitar.. teach me?!
10. Just be happy. the hardest and best resolution of all!! 
Happy New Year guys and deff look out for lots of posts in the new year! 

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Best Friends.

Hey there, Hi there, Ho there! SOOO ive been INSANELY BUSY at work!! Holiday season is both the best and the worst for this exact reason lol But as I promised I will write at least a post a week so here I am!! This post is something that i've been pondering writing. I am really good at writing the fun, funny stuff, but the real knitty, gritty stuff is a bit more difficult, but here we go anyways!  I am the type of girl who makes friends wicked easily! I'm witty, funny, nice and have a certain sarcasm that people usually like rather than dislike I think. Ever since I was young I was able to make friends quickly. I would literally go up to girls and be like "Hi, I'm Jaclyn, Let's be friends" and just like that we were inseparable! Now my first "best friend" was when I was in kindergarten.. We had met when she literally lended me a helping hand! I had gotten one of those awful shots you need to go to school in my thigh and being the tiny girl I am ended up not being able to walk or get up everytime I sat she would help me back up and after that we were besties! We would hang out in what I considered her HUGE house compared to my tiny condo and eat pilsbary doughboy cookies! Our favorite thing to do was to watch Wayne's World together. (because what five year olds wouldn't be into that, I was always a strange one! LOL) That was such a fun, easy friendship. It was the first time I really had a friend besides my sisters and I loved it! Unfortunately it was not a lifetime one as I moved away and I cant even remember her last name to stalk her on facebook! hahah. When I moved to CT I was nervous being the new girl and all but I made lots of "best friends" easily! There was one girl who everyone seemed to want to be friends with and I was so lucky to be able to be her friend! We were inseparable from 5th to 7th grade. We went to the mall together, talked about boys, (her actually having boyfriends, me being the awkward girl I was and dreaming about one.) amusement parks, anything! Our "clique" was actually quite popular in middle school and I felt so special knowing these girls wanted to be my friend! (even if I really was the weird one haha) We even hid a box for us to come back after we graduated high school and dig up because we wanted to remember our friendship and DUH, we were BFF! Now this is all middle school so of course there ended up being random drama.. I think I spilled some chips or something of that nature and right than I WAS OUT OF THE GROUP. done. I was so devastated! I lost my best friends. At the time I felt like my world was ending and I had no one. I was very angsty and sad.. simple plan was my best friend at the time. haha I think this is when punk Jaclyn came out haha. Now it ended up working out and I was fine. I moved on, made new friends. Although I guess you could say I was a bit of a loser in high school so my glory days of school must have been when I was in middle school and SO COOL. duh. haha I eventually found my BEST BEST friend. We met on the bus on the way to school and she was my mini-me!  We were best friends for over 10 years and really had the best times. We would walk home from school, talk and just be SO HAPPY. I finally felt like I had a real, true friend. We were like sisters to me! We would dance in my room and dress up in all my crazy dresses. We went to homecoming together and she was there to cheer me on when I was in the fashion show even when girls were trying to be mean to me. We ALWAYS had each others backs. I knew I could count on her no matter what. We graduated and still remained best friends. Now I wont say I was the perfect friend. I'm stubborn and quick tempered. But I was always there for this person and she was always there for me. Now you grow and change a lot from 14 to 25 but I truly felt like this person was family to me. She was the ying to my yang. Where I can seem cold and emotionless, She is warm and wears her heart on her sleeve. I'm tough who would yell at girls who were mean to me, She would befriend them and make them LOVE her! We may have been a little opposite but it always seemed to work! She was one of the few people I could tell anything to and feel comfortable knowing my secrets were safe. I could cry and even if it freaked her out because I DON'T CRY she was always understanding. Unfortunately things happen and this friendship is gone. Its like a piece of me missing. I cant explain how sad I get when I think how wrong everything went. Its been almost a year since we stopped being friends and I can honestly compare it to a break-up. You go on facebook and see this person and it hurts. You see them out and its worse. Not being able to say hi to your own "best friend" without feeling lost and hurt is a awful thing. People ask me how so and so is and all I can say is I dont know, while they look at me like Its crazy we aren't friends. we were that inseparable..I have never publicly social media talked about what happened because our friendship was so precious to me. Even now I wouldn't say anything to hurt this person. I truly wish the best for them and their life. This is just me being able to say, that sometimes life and friendships suck. Its hard having friends sometimes as a girl!! Girls all over know how it is! A girl says shes your friend than goes to another girl and bashes you. We gossip about each-other and hide our real feelings. This is where I was always a different girl. I lost a lot of friendships due to my blunt nature of tackling the problems head on. I don't want to talk shit, I want to fix the problem and talk to them! Now sometimes people grow apart, grow up and that's ok too. Life is constantly evolving and we are always changing with it. You cant make someone like you, or want to be your friend again. Belive me I have tried many times and failed at that. You just have to be the best person you can be. If they need someone or something else that's fine. If they are toxic and no good for your life anymore than its time to cut the strings. At 25 I just want people around me who love me for me. Messy, un-perfect, blunt Jaclyn. I wish that girls would lift each other up and love each other more than being so catty and mean. We could all use a little love in this world. Anyways I know its going to take awhile for me to be at peace with all of this. But I'm really trying, and As I said my blog was going to be honest about how im feeling and this is as honest as you can get. Until next time.
DISCLAIMER: no names were used to protect the former friends and no hurt meant, really. i mean it. the past is in the past, This is just my spot to write my thoughts.. cest la vie. :)

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

hey to all you skinny bitches out there...(and everyone in between)

 Hi!! So sorry I've only been writing one post a week this month! The holiday season is CRAZY at my job. It means I'm working like crazy and basically only go home to sleep! CRAZINESS! I don't mind too much though.. I'm one of those people who would rather be totally busy than do nothing all day and have the hour tick, tick on by. Plus Bonus's make the world go round! lol. Today was the infamous "Victoria Secret Fashion show. Its basically where women are are PAYED to work out, look perfect and quite honestly a lot of them don't eat very well. But the BIG thing it helps perpetuate for women in the USA is a UNREALISTIC body image. There is no way that little five foot three me could ever prance around in my underwear and look long, lean and perfect. It adds on to little girls feelings that there is ONE certain look that they need to achieve to be pretty, and it holds fast to guys high standards of what a women's body should look like. Now I will let you in on some of my not so good times. When I was younger I was PAINFULLY skinny. The type that people would come up and ask me if I had a eating disorder, which isn't nice and does not feel good. I used to have to wear belts all the time because where I was skinny, I also happen to have these obnoxiously (at the time, now I <3 them lol) long legs!

the real problem here is that hair...
 Now I have very thick skin so that never bothered me too much. The thing that used to get to me the most was after we girls hit puberty and started developing was the constant teasing of how "flat chested I was" that I looked like a boy and in my head all that equated to was that I was not good enough. I was not pretty enough and what I had to offer on the inside didn't matter. As women we are constantly judged! I can admit I am no angel and have been judgey to other girls also. Society puts these rules on us: Huge boobs, Slim waist, and of course you have to have a butt. This is a million dollar industry that they are feeding! We need to look the best! But why? Who is to say that having no butt, or no boobs is worse than having ample amounts? We need to be confident in what we have. That being said it took me a long time to feel comfortable in my own skin. I was that awkward skinny girl in high-school who didn't understand how much a good padded bra could help my shape out.  Hips and an ass, short-waisted but tinnyyy boobs is a hard combo to make look proportional. lol I was the girl who NEVER got dressed in front of other girls, let alone take my bra off in front of a guy. I DREAMED of one day boobs just popping up and couldn't wait for this mysterious "growing out of a bra"thing to happen.

Now sometimes my insecurities still do pop up but I'm much happier knowing that we women come in all different shapes and sizes. There is NO PERFECT BODY. The best body is the one you feel confident and sexy in. It does not matter if your skinny, curvy or anything in between YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and should know it!!!! I'm all for doing anything that makes you feel good, which means who knows one day I might "grow out" of my bras or keep my A's forever. The thing is its YOUR CHOICE. Don't let media, stupid men, or mean girls influence you. ALWAYS REMEMBER:YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
a crazy, small chested, booty having, little girl. <3

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

I swear im not THAT crazy...

So recently I got called the dreaded "crazy" as in "Why are you so crazy, I'm just a boy who did nothing wrong.. CRAZY." This happened by some person I have not talked to in months which made it even more annoying to me, as a girl cant even just be friendly anymore and say hello. SOOO this post is about all the things girls do that are CRAZY..actual and otherwise lol
1. We want you text us if you like us. - what is so hard about texting? its literally typing words on a tiny screen to show us you like us.. We are not even asking for a phone call here.. because hearing someones actual voice would be unheard of nowadays.
2. Stalking your instagram, twitter, facebook. oh do you have a pinterest. I already knew you did and checked it twice thanks. Most girls don't mind if you like some "Models" instas that have 400+likes...  If you like some whores I know and hate picture? I will keep that in mind and mention it to you later casually like "oh you like, so and so pictures.. SHES A WHORE AND I HOPE SHE MOVES TO WHORELAND, WHY DON'T YOU JUST MARRY HER ALREADY SINCE YOUR IN LOVE WITH HER!"
3.SNAPCHAT. girls go crazy about snapchat for 2 reasons. One: boys are stupid and don't realize if you snap one girl 500 times she is now in your top 3 and ALL your girls on snapchat see and hate her instantly. Two.:You should only snapchat me.. or like you mom. That's fine too.
4. I know I just texted you once but you haven't responded in 2 minutes sooo I think I should text you again. My rule used to be to text three times and after that never text again. As I've gotten older I say fuck it and let your inner crazy out..keep texting. (I'm totally kidding, stop doing that..text once and done.)
5. Another thing about instagram.... We get so crazy when you don't like our pictures... "WHY DON'T YOU LIKE THE PIC OF MY CAT EATING RAMEN? SHES A MODEL!" We will delete our selfies if they don't get 11 likes but keep the one you like just to say.. "See, he liked my picture 23 weeks ago, obviously he is in love with me" to our friends.
6.SO you meet a girl at a bar, you think shes pretty, you exchange numbers, go on dates and finally sleep together... well than your mission is accomplished and your ready to move on but We girls have other plans... Once a girl sleeps with a guy and likes them, She will text them none-stop. Where we think (now this is sometimes, BELIEVE ME, NOT ALL THE TIME. lol) sex will bring us closer.. guys think I hit the bulls-eye im good to go. You never know how truly crazy a girl can get until you sleep with her. and by crazy I mean us wanting to hang out again..odd I know.
7. We show all our friends screenshots.. bare that in mind when you text a crazy girl something nasty or sweet she will show it to ten of her closest friends thinking nothing odd of it. Be prepared to be critiqued to all you tiny minded men out there. ;)
8. You know how you say you "deleted" anything bad we sent you? Yes well a crazy girl is always prepared and has your  "snaps" too so be prepared.
9.  Some girls will do these things called drive-bys.. I used to be friends with a girl who would drive by her ex's house and piss right near his car. touche crazy girl and keep at it... haha
10.  I used to talk to someone and just show up at his house... this is real and crazy.. I also own it with no shame... drunk jaclyn is a wild thing...okayyyyyy... so maybe we are crazy, but crazy girls are the best... ;) So what do you think are girls crazy or are guys just driving us insane?

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Thanksgiving: Why it is so important to me.

So I totally wrote a whole post on my phone while on my lunch break at work and it got deleted because I didn't save it right! what a bummer! Anyways, I am a total holiday lover! you name the holiday and for that month it is my favorite holiday ever! So for the time being, thanksgiving it is!! When I was little my whole family would get together and have HUGE thanksgivings! Coming from an Italian family you could not even belive how much food we had!! My aunts and uncles would instruct us to eat,eat, eat and I would be dying by the time we got to even the second course!! However I would keep on eating because my favorite part of the whole meal was dessert!! Now I'm not much of a sweet tooth kind of girl but my Nona made the BEST Italian cookies you would ever taste! I would look forward to eating them all year and gobble them all up. She was the queen when it came to cooking to me and whenever I cook I always think of my Nona and try to ammulate how perfect she made everything! She would cook the perfect meal everytime and my papa would make the BEST gravy(sauce) you could ever even imagine! and YES, this happened on thanksgiving. lol She really is the first person who inspired me to try and cook and want to be that typical "Italian housewife" but still have big dreams and accomplish them.
My Nona and Papa made each holiday so special and really held our family together. I miss them so much and this time of year is when I get to missing them and all of my family that is far away from me. Holidays are a great time to remember who has been there for you and what life really is about. I really have my Nona and Papa to thank for showing me how important family is no matter what. 
I miss them every day and it's truely a blessing to have your grandparents in your life.. I wish I had hugged the a little closer and really appreciated them. Unfortantly I was only a young teenager when both of them passed But they showed me what true love really was. My Papa could give you a hug so hard he would pull muscles in your back! I miss those hugs so much. I even miss how my  Nona would pinch my cheeks and tell me  how I look just like her!! Holidays are really a great time and honestly if you have your love ones in your life hold them closer and love them a little longer. I would give anything to be able to kiss and hug my grandparents! But I will continue on remembering them fondly and trying to get my Nona's Italian cookie recipe right this holiday season! 
Much Love, 

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

An Ode to drinking: The Current State

These were apple pie whiskey.. so good and so bad in the morning
Part two of my ode to drinking post here. So.. Remember that time you were a young, lets say 18 year old and thought you were a super-hero that never got hangovers and led the perfect drinking life even with your cheap vodka... BAD NEWS: YOU ARE NOT. you will turn 25 and suddenly your normal drinking night has you waking up the next morning wanting to crawl back in that bar, turn back time and DEMAND they NEVER serve you again! You go through the classic stages of a hangover
1.Bartering: I will never drink again if this headache just goes away
2.Grief: Just kill me now, and let this pain be over, I cannot and will not go on.

my only bf of the night...and well life haha
Now we all know come Saturday a beer is calling your name and that shot is looking pretty damn good too actually. So you get dressed promising yourself you will only have one drink and that is all! Well if you have friends like mine that is NOT going to happen. We are what you called skilled drinkers.. and all that means is we drink a lot and are most of the time pretty good at it. Just this sunday me and one of my best friends went out innocently enough just to watch the patriots kick some ass and have a couple beers. Yeahh welllll...That turned into going to 4 different bars, having multiple shots(that's where the apple pie whiskey shot comes from above so good btw) and well me never going home and being significantly hammered.(and honestly we hardly caught the pats lol) Now while that is all fun, what is NOT a good time is how I felt in the morning. Head killing, stomach killing me, dry throat andd about 9 hours of work ahead of me. NOT IDEAL.
beer and oyster fest is a great combo
Now when you are young you don't have a full time job to worry about, real responsibility and drinking on a Tuesday is totally normal. At twenty-five you are SO not hanging like that anymore. You have things to do, you have to be at work early and quite honestly sugary drinks hurt your stomach and you CANNOT have that headache at work.. It's just not worth going out on a weekday.  That being said like any girl I love my whiskey, vodka and beer.  I'm not quite ready to admit I'm old and stop partying with my friends on the weekend and the occasional Thursdays at my ever-faithful spots around town. I still will go out with my friends and have a random DRUNK DRUNK Sunday Fundays to crazy weekends wondering how I took so many fireball shots and managed to not feel like shit.I still wanna be young and have as much fun as I can. I want to be dumb and laugh with my friends and make new friends drunk that I never quite keep sober and well tip shitty still because I'm poor, young and can still kind of get away with it. So In conclusion I'm not quite ready to grow up and will continue my love of alcohol for well, honestly as long as I can get away with it without being called that "old cougar" at the bar! haha Tune in for my next post later this week! :)

Thursday, November 13, 2014

My Teeny Tiny Obsession...

So I'm here to confess I have a serious addiction! it's slowly taking over my life and I don't know what to do... I am addicted to Instagram! lol ok so it's not that serious but I can admit that I probably check Instagram at least 50 times a day. I love scrolling through my newsfeed and staying in touch with all my friends. I'll let you in on a little guilty pleasure of mine.. I love looking at the following section and legit creeping on all the photos my friends have liked .. I can look and look and end up at some bitches page from fucking antartica or something and loved every second of it. lol I scroll through my feed and like a lot of random stuff from puppy's, to my friends, to quite honestly random people and celebs I don't even know lol that's the beauty of Instagram you can just <3 anything! Another page I love looking at is the sucidegirls. Now while some girls loved looking at Victoria secret modelsor celebrities I have admired the sucide girls since I was about 17. These girls are bad ass sexy women. Most are covered in ink and so different than the commercialized women you see like the Kim kardashians of the world. They all do what they want and that shines through their pictures. I happened to just pick a picture I like bc I like big butts and I cannot lie. (and tattoos!) 
Instagram has so many different pages to look at and uses! another page I love is sarcasmonly .. i am a very sarcastic girl which gets me in trouble sometimes and this page always has me laughing and has things I would say to a tee! haha anything that can make me smile and laugh through my crazy days is always welcomed! 
So I can admit I am a self proclaimed selfie queen! I am recently trying to be reformed but it's hard haha! I used to post a good 3 selfies a week and I'm trying to stop that narcissistic behavior and get it down to one every week or couple a weeks for a true selfie ! it's been easier since I cut my hair bc I don't like how to looks unless it's styled a certain way! haha. but really.. must. stop. taking. selfies. lol
So anyways Instagram is my addiction as of late and I am trying to be concious of my insta and phone use in general but it is hard when your a ADD person like I am and always need something to do or look at! Instagram is one of my favorite social media outlets and your sure to find me clicking away! if you want to see my posts check me out on Instagram  @ jaclynleee ! :) 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

my weekend was in full effect

Here is a quick little photo blog about my weekend/ week!!

I went to the bar with my friends and had a mini law reunion! it was so fun to get together with old friends and catch up ! it's crazy how busy and old we are getting! we are so mature now.. so mature that we got wasted and took like 5 to 7 shots of whiskey together... hahaha

played with my kitty cat naynay! and when I say played I mean we basically layed in bed all Sunday nursed my EPIC hangover from the night before and watched Netflix! seriously why can't I have copious shots of whiskey and 4 beers and hang like I used to with no ill effects the next morning? haha

I went shopping with my lovley mother and while we only went out to fix her iPhone (shout out to my good friend jj for helping us while at apple!) I ended up shopping around and finally finding these thigh high socks I've been on the hunt for since early fall.. my mom knew about my obsession and pointed them out! only $10 at Windsor! I adore that store and I'm so happy it's back!! I also am in dire need of sweaters bc apprently I used to not wear winter clothes and only own two so I ended up buying that stripped sweater which is a cool Oxblood color that's very in right now which I'm also have been searching for. Now I have a pretty unique stlyle .. it's a cross between homeless, hipster and goth hippy with a dash of preppy. I like being funky and trying different things! I'm currently in the search for the perfect floppy hat so if anyone knows where I can find one let me know !! 

yes I'm a real life Italian girl who makes homemade lasagna.. why I am single I don't know but god has bigger plans for me apprently than just cooking ;) 

last but really not least these cute boys. my heart, my only boys who continue to make me smile, my nephews!! had to share to cute not too!

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Walk of Shame..or run while you can?

You wake up feeling hazy, hungover, confused.. open your eyes and suddenly realize this is not a drill: this is not your room, there is some dude next to you and where the hell did I put my bra? Quite quickly you want to make your great escape and bounce to your car. We have all been there..whether you are leaving your boyfriends place or that cute guy you met at the bar... (p.s don't do it, that cute boy at the bar is a asshole and not so cute once your drink wears off) Now here are my top 10  #WALKSOFSHAMES with no shame given while letting you know them.

10. Waking up in a Halloween costume with red hair spray all over myself only not to be able to open the door and have his DAD come help me.. hi dad, BYE DAD!
9. Having someones grandma walk in on me getting dressed to go.. she previously invited me to church as I am a good catholic girl.. whoops guess that image was ruined...
8.Walking all the way from my house to walnut beach & back again because 18 year old me was THAT much of a asshole.
7.Meeting someones mom while trying to leave and having her insist I stay and eat because I MUST be hungry!!
6. Not knowing I was doing a WALK-UP of shame and having people come up to me the next day saying "hey you talk to so? and so yeah we were all on his porch and saw you walk up.. NOT FEELING SO SLICK NOW ARE WE JACLYN?!!
5. The walk back to your car no matter how close it is.. never close enough
4. Getting your car LITERALLY snowed in and watching some neighbor kid and your friend shovel your car out
3.Anytime you saw parents.. WHY ARE YOU AWAKE?!!
2.Waking up in your tiny tiny new years dress and shoveling ice off your car while his roommates CLEARLY stared at you from the window and enjoyed it.
1. and my top number one walk of shame.. DRUMROLLPLEASE... driving home with his mother. It honestly was more of a drive of shame. I was young and I really had to get home and this kid was not helping so his mom offered and who knows why I didn't just walk the 2 miles to my house but I didn't.. The poor lady thought I was 15 and was relived when I told her I was legal. I swore up and down I loved her son and I knew him forever and No I am not a underage hooker despite what this looks like.. SO in conclusion ladies and gentlemen... ALWAYS DRIVE YOUR CAR and get out quick before those awful walk of shame turns into meet the family... haha Let me know if there's any topics your interested in me writing about..
and DISCLAIMER: no men were hurt in the process of this post. only my ego ;) <3 till next time
a crazy(shameless) little girl.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

So I got nominated for this post!

Read on for some info on me and thank you curly hair and high heels for nominating me! (your blog is awesome, btw!)

The rules: 

1) Acknowledge the blog who nominated you

2) Answer the 11 questions given to you from the blogger

3) Give 11 random facts about yourself

4) Nominate 11 blogs you think are deserving of the award (les than 200 followers)

5) Let the bloggers know that you have nominated them

6) Give 11 questions for them to answer

7) Display the award photo in your post

My Questions for you!:

1. Why did you start your blog?
I write everyday for work, and also help manage our blog so it got me thinking I needed to start writting again and this seemed like a good creative outlet!

2. What is your favorite donut to order at Dunkin' Donuts?
Boston Creme.. duh im from boston lol

3. What is your favorite Disney movie?
Not a huge disney fan (horrible, I know) but the classics like lion king, the little mermaid, and Snow White

4. When you get a manicure, what color do you usually gravitate towards?
Black.. not girly and its my fav color.. Also I rarely get my nails done lol

5. What one piece of clothing or shoe can you not live with out?
jeans, leather jacket and BOOTS BOOTS and more boots!

6. Do you have any pets?
a kitty and puppy!

7. If you had to chose one store to shop for makeup would it be Ulta or Sephora?
Ulta.. just cause I have this reward card and I love shit for my hair lol

8. What place do you want to travel to that you have not been before?
Australia bc I really wanna see the Kangaroos and hot boys with accents? im there

9. For take-out dinner..would you rather have Chinese Food or Pizza?

10. What brand of Mascara do you use?
I actually dont use mascara that often.. but i have some free sample one I've rocked at a wedding recently lol

11. What color clothing do you think makes you look and feel the best?
Black! I swear i am a happy person i just love black haha

1.  My birthday is indeed 9/11
2. I eat books up, not literally but if im reading i read quick till I'm done
3. I have 4 tattoos and plan to get more
4. I always look put together but i prob got ready in 15 mins or less
5. I LOVE netflix and am currently addicted to the show weeds
6. Im super close to my 5 amazing nieces and nephews
7. I'm one of 7 and yes my family is crazy lol
8. I may not open up to you at all but I swear im warm and loving
9. That being said dont touch me im a secret germaphobe (not so secret)
10. I love a man who can grow a beard.
11. I love music and sincerly wish i could play a insturment but I do sing!

I only currently have one friend on this soooo I will work on making friends and tag people one day ahaha <3

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

20 signs you're a bad sleeper

god, stop dreaming about me everyone.
1.You lie awake at all hours of the night thinking of random things.
2. You finally fall asleep only to wake up at all hours of the night, and not be able to fall back asleep
3. A early bed time for you is 1am. (and your still wound up)
4.Your significant other is snoring away and you are cursing them for sleeping so nicely
5.  You grab your phone and scroll through the same things people posted before they went to bed four hours ago..only to have it fall on your face. (ouch)
6. You try and count sheep only to realize that's stupid and doesn't work.
7. You try and clear your head and stop thinking only to start all over, worse than before.
8.  You've tried all those herbal teas and heat packs only to lie awake and either have to pee or be overcome by incense.
9. You try and find like minded people who aren't sleeping to talk to.
10. Netflix...need I say more?
11.Mornings are always awful. 8am always comes too early.
12. People assume your a vampire because you're always awake
13. Your favorite time is the weekend because its not so weird to stay up past 3am
14. You can stay up till 6am and still have tons of energy
15. You are always, always restless
16. You snapchat/text/harass people at odd times at night
17. You get up 20 times a night for a snack, a drink, really anything to entertain you
18. None-sleepers cant take naps or we will never go to bed
19. You get bored, so you wake your significant other up to "talk"
20.  You read this and agreed with everything I said and want to add a few more in

Monday, October 27, 2014

Drinking, The Early Years: An Ode to Alcohol

So we have all been there, you partied a little too hard and you wake up groggy and confused to what actually happened last night and grimace when you look at your phone and see your texts... but lets rewind this story up a bit.... I was destined to be a big drinker. I come from a long, long, line of Irish, Italian, Germans who have major tempers and love their beer. Now I actually didn't end up drinking till I was 18 (apparently that was the age I got rebellious) The first time I drank was senior year with my highschool friends. We all decided to drink for what I think was my friends birthday, being the CLASSY girls we were we got a bottle of raspberry Smirnoff and went wild! I probably had one glass of whatever concoction we made and got drunk. Me and my friend started walking around her neighboorhood bored drunk and I was NOT gonna be able to go home so I slept over. This will be called the age of "I dont know my tolerance so im gonna get fucked up, drink dubra, and STILL not have a hangover. Some of my glorious things I did during this era were:
1.Yelling at some poor lady for staring at me while being plastered after cotillion at the good old flyer diner in milford.
2. Went shot for shot thinking I was a bad ass and took 8 straight shots of Jack Daniels. I  was totally sober one minute than the next so drunk that I started throwing up all over my poor friends yard.
3.Spent every Friday with my friends texting any and everyone we knew of age to buy us liquor and buying dubra thinking it was GREAT!

4.Going to my first bar underage at 19. Shout-out to the good old Redwood for serving me even when the bartender was like your not 21 as shes pouring me the only bar drink I knew of : Cranberry Vodka.
5. Hiding my bottles of vodka in my closet so my mom wouldn't find them.
6. Drinking at walnut beach and being stupid with my friends like every good milford teenager must do.
7. Heading out to new haven to go to alchelmy and get "shitty with my girlssss" and yell at any and every man who ever tried to touch me.
8. Throwing BANGERS at my house.. (We all know how that one backfired on me)
9. Stealing a 50 dollar bottle of tequila from a angry sailor and running away at a party with my friend and getting smashedddd. sorry to the u.s.a navymen!
10. Buying liquor underage at the one place EVERY kid knew they would not get carded in milford.. but still freaking out like I was going to get arrested while doing it.
The early years of drinking are always the most wreckless, you dont have enough sense to be like man this 8 dollar bottle of vodka should not be drank in one night, but also your young and don't get hangovers so why not?! I used to think I was #BLESSED and didn't get hangovers.. fast-forward to 25 and any amount of sugar in my drink has me reeling the next day. Drinking has its ups- and really dumb moments, but it sure makes life interesting! Check back for my next post on this subject! :)

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

part two: a taboo subject! (relatives cover your eyes!!)

Now here is the most taboo topic that a single girl can talk about, sex. you are either a slut for having it or a prude for not. guys get to talk about sex freely with no judgement, they are considered the man! we women although, are still bunch of whores for even mentioning it. why in 2014 is it still taboo for girls to express their desires and wants? the only place girls can even get information that's "safe" for them to look at is in Cosmo... and believe me no girl is actually taking their advise to lie back counter clockwise and "rock your mans world like never before tonight!!" now I was what they call a "late bloomer" I didnt get my first kiss till I was 18 in walnut beaches parking lot of all places! I was what you call awkward in highschool and I wasn't much of a boy magnet. (besides from all the weird dudes that thought I was nice..)
(my sexy Myspace pose at 17!) i didn't end up losing my virgintity till after highschool either, by that time most of my friends had done the deed and here I was the proverbial good girl who never had a date to even one dance. now I think we all have that vision as girls that our first time is going to be all candles, romance and we are going to be so gorgeous our men will just keel over and die just from the sight of us!! well in reality your in someone's parents house in their childhood twin sized bed and your thinking "he said he just wanted to watch a movie, how'd this happen?! (oh to be young and naive!) now being years removed from that situation I can say firmly that society's vision of losing "it" is warped, all those 80s movies are totally wrong! no butterflies come out, candles aren't lit and unfortantly no one stands outside your window pinning after you with a old school radio.. (although fellas, I'll take a portable MP3 player if you have one!)
(I REALLY liked lyrics & selfies at 17 andddd I look crosseyed, good going Jaclyn)  But everyone has their own sometimes funny story of the first time, of that huge milestone in life. you can literally never forget it, even if you want too! (bc who are we kidding,we are all clumsy and awkward at 18!) now the details I'll keep to myself as they are my private memory but I will give you the HILARIOUS tale of how after I made my 22 year old sister pick me up from his house, buy me french fries and asked the age old question of : "that was it?! that's what all the fuss was about?! " she assured me it would get better. (she was right.) I also happened to leave my jewelry and oh, my work keys at his house so that was interesting explaining to the girl I worked with when he came strolling in to give them back.. awkward, much?! anyways you live and you really do learn a lot from being that awkward teenage love-stuck girl to a 25 year old woman. you learn that it's not always about the guy, you don't always have to be smoldering hot and yes, laughter helps those awkward moments everyone has during sex. anyway thanks for reading about the taboo "shh don't talk about it, we're all good girls here" subject! :) more taboo stuff later! (who dosent love a little scandal?!) 

Monday, October 20, 2014

Part one: Let's talk about love baby, Lets talk about you and me

So here we go, Part One of "Why is Jaclyn Single?" Most people know me as a VERY tough, strong girl. Countless times I've been told , "You are not like a normal girl" I've even had guys who I really cared about tell me they didn't really think of my feelings because well, I seem so strong and put together "You're a really tough girl, Jaclyn" AND I really am..I own that independence and strong-headedness. Its a great quality. It has driven me to do great at my job, and pay all my bills and try to help my mom all I can. I'm constantly the girl who sometimes to others can seem cold, and not girly. I don't know when being strong has become a bad quality. I don't have to shout about rainbows and love to prove my womanliness. Now sometimes my strong-willed nature has been a bad thing. I'm extremely bad at relationships. I have never once really told someone how much I care. That "I can do it all myself" attitude has hindered my ability to just say "Hey, I need you. I want you. I love you. It doesn't help that in my 25 years of existence I have the innate ability to desire people who as much as I would love to think differently, haven't wanted me back. Maybe in the moment they wanted me for my looks, my care-free attitude, my impulsiveness, but never for ME.  Now I cant say I haven't loved anyone ever but I've never felt that REAL love in return. I'm not the kind of girl who wants that prince-charming to sweep me off my feet. I want to be equal and find someone who loves my quirks and my independence as much as I do. I struggle when dating, once I see a guy liking me too much, a switch goes off in my head to "run, run as fast as you can" I cannot handle not doing what I want, when I want. I've literally have had a friends bf tell me "well if you were just needy maybe you'd have a boyfriend" I don't want to change or be "needy" I want to be me and have someone love that I like to go out with my friends, and that I can walk into a bar alone and own it. I know that in every relationship you have to make comprises but I don't want to EVER change me. I'm at the point where I know I need someone, to tell me they love me, take me out and well maybe I'll even be a girl and cuddle. So that being said anyone like a strong-willed, stubborn, blunt, loving girl? <3

Monday, October 13, 2014

My Best (hairy) Friends

I have a case of the mondays...All I wanted to do this morning was cuddle with my cat and dog and never leave my bed. I eventually did get out of bed and leave my two furry friends! If you know anything about me, you know that I LOVE animals! I am the type of girl that will run up to random people to pet their dogs and animals usually flock to me.. (with the exception of birds, but that's another post) I adore my dog bailey, who we rescued and is a lab/hound mix! (and oh does he have TONS of energy!) I also have a cat Naomi, who has a thousand nicknames such as nay, shanaynay, and most commonly I call her NayNay.

 We rescued Bailey from north shore animal league in 2007. My mom had to put our beloved dalmatian down just a year before, and we were heartbroken from that, So initially I was a little hesitant to get a new dog. How could another dog ever take the place of my childhood one? I was vehemently against getting this new dog, but my mom had gone to the rescue place and fell in love with Bailey so she brought him back. He was the tiniest cutest puppy you ever did see. (This is before I had an iphone, so unfortunately I don't have any pics :/) I eventually warmed up to the idea of a new dog, and Bailey really did steal my heart. He is so happy, loving and just a good dog. He is a little crazy, in the way that he likes bananas, will run up and down the stairs for no reason hours on end, and he has this little habit of just randomly humping the air. ( or anything near him :X)

He can light up my whole day when I'm feeling down and puts a smile on my face. Hes so sweet and even good with my niece, he just wants to kiss her! (which babies and toddlers aren't too fond of haha) Everyone who meets bailey falls in love with him and sees what a sweet, if not a little energetic dog he is. He can sometimes be a little mischievous, and whenever he gets the chance he will try to run out and end up "going for a ride" in my car, as that is the only way to get him back home. I wouldn't change having mr. bails for anything!
On to my diva kitty, nay! I have raised my cat naynay since she born and I was 14. My sisters cat had kittens and I inherited her. From the moment she was born she had such a personality. She bossed all the other kittens around, and was always stealing their food. (shes a bit of a fat cat, I tell people shes well-taken care of, not fat!!) She was so stunningly beautiful even though she was just a regular cat, no special breed. She adores me and im basically the only one she will go near. I one time had a boy over who thought he could pet her, and she just looked at him like hell, no! and darted off! haha. She sits with me, and purrs so loud you would think she was taking off. (shes actually right next to me purring now, trying to get my attention as I am writing this haha) I adore her more than I can even put in words or try to understand.
Shes only slightly spoiled in the way that her food bowl is always full and I may give her food anytime she meows at me! The Diva kitty must be kept happy! I don't think I will ever be able to get another cat after my naynay, because she is so unique and special to me. Shes almost like a dog, I swear, she bites and everything!! Even though she is now almost 11 she is still so playful.. just last week I found her swatting one of my bras across my room which I must say was hilarious!

Animals are so special and dear to my heart and I'm so lucky to have these two little loves that always are there for me and cheer me up on my not so good days. They keep me sane, happy, and smiling! They are always there, and always trustworthy to me! <3

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

The Many Faces Of Jaclyn's Halloween

Happy October! Now that the crisp weather is here its almost time for one of my favorite holidays! I have loved Halloween since I was a little kid! (and not for the candy part, I oddly don't have a sweet tooth) I adore the idea of being anything you've ever wished, if only for a night! I've been a princess, a witch, and most recently a very gory zombie sailor pinup girl! My favorite part of Halloween is making your costume and all the details that are involved in it! This post I'll share with you some of my favorite costumes in the past few years I've made!
So in the first picture I am a officer.. it was 2010 I just turned 21 and the song Mrs.Officer by Lil' Wayne was very popular.. apparently I was going for a sexy officer of the law look with my handcuffs and stockings.(I am certain though that real police don't wear garter belts and have real guns haha) In the next picture I am little miss.ridding hood! My nephew at the time was a baby and his favorite show had little miss ridding hood in it, so I created that costume from a old cape and corset I had! (my little bee niece is probably the best part of the whole thing!!)
 So for me the best part of halloween is creating my actual look! I had decided I wanted to be poison ivy but all the costumes I saw were so cheap and unrealistic looking, so I decided to make it! I went to Joanne Fabrics and made the tutu myself using tulle! I than glued fake leaves and dyed the shirt green! The hardest part of this ensemble was probably my hair! I wanted red hair to complete the look but I couldn't get a wig to fit over my long, long brown hair. So I decided to buy those instant halloween hairspray colors. It worked, but it got EVERYWHERE in my bathroom! So I recommend wearing a shirt you don't care about and going outside to spray your hair! This costume was so fun and I even almost won a contest with it! ( They had us go on stage, and I wasn't sooo into feeling like a cattle call and shaking my ass like the other girls for 250 dollars, no amount of drinks can make me do that, thanks mama for the self-respect!)

NINJA TURTLES!! I kind of have an obsession with ninja turtles! (who didn't love them as a child of the 90s!) My friends and I all decided to be the ninja turtles and the costume was pretty easy, and cheap to make! We bought ninja turtle backpacks. (which I still use all the time just cause haha) and I had shorts previously from aerie! I bought a five dollar shirt from joyce leslie and fabric, again from the beloved Joanne Fabrics! We had body paint and if I do say myself my abs were killer! hahaha

This last costume  is one of my favs! I've been dying to go beyond the typical "slutty white girl" costume. Its still kind of typical but I tried to gore it up a bit! I was a "pin-up" zombie. I loved marking up all my "sailor" accessory's with blood. The best part of this is definitely the fake wounds and falling apart skin! I might have been slightly allergic to the fake wounds because my skin got all itchy and red! pain is beauty. (or gore) haha. So there are a few of my most recent creations! I'm still trying to figure out what direction I am going to go with this year for halloween but I have a few ideas swirling around! If anyone has any ideas let me know! :) <3

Saturday, October 4, 2014

my crazy (maybe obsessive) love of long hair

My love of long, long hair goes back to when i was young. I remember being 3 and my mother taking me for a haircut, unfortunately for me it was almost summer and my mother decided to chop it all off into a cute little bob! I was devastated, now any normal three year old would have no problem with cutting their hair but i cried, and stormed into my room!! I was distraught with this
"boy"  haircut!! Ever since than I had kept it incredibly long! That is until 8th grade when i went and got the dreaded "mall hair-cut"  it was short, awful and the kids in school were not afraid to tell me exactly how bad it was! i cried, and cried to my mom!! Here is the offending haircut!
So I entered freshmen year looking like that and feeling not so pretty. I admired every long hair girl from a distance and thought "man if I could only have hair like that life would be perfect!" (and maybe boobs like them too) Well luckily for me by sophomore year my hair grew (the boobs im still waiting for :p) and by the time I was a senior I had that long luscious hair I so desired. Now that my hair was long i wanted to donate it but I agonized about how short it would be and NEVER again wanted that awful haircut! So I waited two more years and donated 10 inches! Recently I have again taken the plunged and donated my hair! This time I donated 14 inches to beautiful lengths, they make wigs for women with cancer, free of charge. This is so special to me because my beloved aunt passed of ovarian cancer. Now as much as I LOVE long hair. (and i REALLY, REALLY love it) I am always so happy and feel blessed that i am able to give my long,thick, italian hair to such a good cause.

So now I'm back in the process of growing out my crazy thick hair and hating every moment of it! I love the donating part, i hate the giving up of my long, hippy hair! I am a long hair girl for life and it pains me to have medium length hair! haha I cant wait till my hair is long again and wish the process of growing hair out was faster!! So there's a little insight on why I'm so obsessive with having long long hair and why I constantly grow it out to make the cut again and again! :)

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

the start

So I've been wanting to start my own blog up for awhile and I've finally decided to do it! If you ever want to know what's going on in the mind of a single 25 year old pseudo adult than you're totally at the right place. I'm at the weird point in my life where half the people i know are either engaged, going to be engaged or too drunk to even know whats happening and im somewhere in between of inebriated and being a real living grown-up. Now ill let you in on a little less known secret of mine... I totally thought i was going to be on the opposite side of this spectrum.. married, a kid andddddd maybe a house.. so far a have a very fat cat and a crazy dog. So anyways, this blog is going to be about my life, fashion, drinking, my many failed attempts at trying to date, all while being the quirky, stubborn, unconventional girl i am. (and hopefully ill make you laugh in between all those things.)